Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
As I sat in the class and listened to all the questions the prospective foster parents had and watched as their eyes lit up just talking about the possibility of having foster children in their homes a part of me wanted to say run, while you still have your heart. Don't get me wrong I was glad to see the people in the class and see them so excited about having children placed in their care, but no one can really prepare you for the reality of foster care. No one can prepare you for the heartbreak of having to say good bye or having to deal with the stress of wanting so desperately to adopt the child you have in your home but having to deal with all the "policies". There is no way to prepare foster parents for the many different situations they may come in contact with. I tried to be very open and answer their questions as honest and positive as I could be. I would never want to discourage anyone from becoming a foster parent. I just advised them to know their limits and to think with their head and not their heart when called for a placement.
Monday, December 14, 2009
He is better now. We got to come home yesterday morning. He is finally eating again and up running and playing. There is nothing scarier than seeing your child just lay lifeless on the coach for a week. Its great to see him up causing trouble with his brothers again. HAHA
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
We did not make the December docket for TPR hearing for BM either. Hopefully that will happen in January.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
My friend and I have been talking a lot lately about our children and how different they all are. Not just our foster children but our biological children also. We have just been discussing in particular some of the issues we are having or have had with them. But two of our children in particular that share some of the same struggles and learning disabilities.
The questions have come up as to how do we know when they really just don't get it or will they be able to take on adult responsibilities as they get older. How do we trust that we can turn them loose in a car, to go out with friends and make the right choices, will they ever be able to live independently and raise their own families. These are just a few of the questions we have.
Last night I was reading in my bible, actually I was looking for something else and then the Lord led me to the scripture above and it made me stop and really think. I felt a peace come over me like no other. The Lord was telling me I believe that he created all of these children, in his own image and that they are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. All the worries we have as parents he already has in the palm of his had. He created them and he does indeed have a plan for each child.
It is so hard sometimes for me to think about these foster children especially. So many times I wonder why, why do these sweet babies have to go through some of the awful things they go through, where and who will I wake up with, how do I feel safe, no one to attach to, no one to guide and discipline them, no one to rock them to sleep at night, to one to read them a story or say a bedtime prayer with. But yet they are fearfully and wonderfully made and God does have a plan for their lives whether it be staying with their biological families and them getting help or going to a Christian foster home that can teach them all about the Lord and how much he loves them no matter what.
I know I have probably rambled but to sum it all up, what I really want each of you to get is that whatever problems you are facing with your children they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that we are just blessed beyond what we deserve to have these children placed in our care from God to help guide them and raise them to be a child after Gods own heart.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
As you know from previous post my hubby was not on board with adopting Little J in the beginning. I am not sure the reasons and may never know for sure but what I do know that with God all things are possible and we have indeed come full circle. He is 100% committed at this point and so is Little J.
Yesterday we were repainting our bedroom so of course we had Little J locked out with his big brothers. Once we were finished and we opened the door Little J saw me and said "momma" but then he peeked around the door and said "ohhh my Daddy" and Daddy responded hey buddy come see me. Oh my goodness, I could have cried. It was one of the sweetest moments I have ever had with them and it is one I never want to forget.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
My Marvelous Hubby who I love with all my heart and I cannot imagine a life without him
Amazing Children Seth, Patton, Landon and Little J you are all such blessings in my life
My Christian Parents who mean everything to me
My Wonderful Sister and Brother
My Families Health
My Grandmothers who are both still living
My Grandfathers that have gone on to be with the Lord but were the best grandfathers a girl could ever have
My Father and Mother in law
My Sister in laws and their wonderful families
My Brother in laws and their wonderful families
My best friend in the whole world Kelly and her family
All my other dear friends and family, Amy, Lori, Angela, Melissa, Jana
My Church Family
Little J's Biological Mom T
Our troops who protect us everyday
This amazing journey the Lord has us on right now to love and provide for his children in foster care.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
We really enjoyed getting to watch them play together. I have to admit I was a little nervous about the visit, but once it got started it was great. When the time came to leave Little J's sister started to cry and I picked her up and asked what was wrong and she said "I want to go with you to." This broke my heart but I would have taken her in a minute if I could have. I promised her another visit real soon and hopefully they will allow me to bring her to our home to spend the day very soon.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Evidently whoever wrote these policies do not have children and do not have a clue what being a family is really all about. It is not just biology that makes you a family.
I hope and pray that this is not the guy either. I was told today that if this is not the guy they will not test anyone else unless someone comes forward after they publish in the paper. Please continue to pray for me, Little J and our entire family.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. God does answer prayers. He is answering our prayers daily on this journey.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I think right now the main thing I can do is make a plea for more foster homes. I know on our blogs sometimes we are very negative towards the foster system and rightfully so. However, these children have no control of any of the circumstances in their sweet little lives. They just need someone to step in and be the parents that their biological family cannot be for whatever reason. Sometimes this means being a temporary parent and sometimes it is a forever home. Please do not be discouraged by anything negative I may have said about foster care or biological families.
If you are thinking about foster care, please pray about it and follow God. It is an awesome and rewarding experience to know that you are making a difference in the life of a child. Yes you have to put up with a lot of things that you may not agree with but just remember none of that matters. In the end what really matters is that you gave a child more love than they could have ever imagined and hopefully that will help shape their tiny lives into a warrior for Christ.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I do not know how to feel about this right now. I am trying not to get myself worked up over this because we do not even know if he is the Dad but it is hard. My hubby said don't worry Little J is not going anywhere. I wish I was that confident but we have a crazy system.
I know that some of you feel that being with the biological family is what is best no matter what but I have to disagree. I cannot believe that taking a baby from the only family he has ever known and placing him in strangers home (and they are strangers) is best. I am not saying that this is what will happen but it could and it stinks. I feel like that every situation should be evaluated and just because its best for one case does not mean it is best for every case. In our case Little J has been with us 13 1/2 mos and we are his family biology or not.
Ok, sorry I know it sounds like I am sending Little J away and it has not happened but I cannot help but worry. I love this little guy so much and I do not want to even think about the possibility of him not always being here.
Keep praying, prayers have been answered so far and I know this to will work out too.
Monday, September 28, 2009
When we got to Little J's BM house they invited us in to visit. We went in and sat down in their living room and watched Little J entertain everyone. We had a very good visit with them. It was nice to just sit and visit in their home without DHR having to supervise, without having to leave Little J screaming because he doesn't want to stay, to see Little J's BM just enjoy playing with him without having to try to make him happy, and most of all to see that Little J's BM is accepting her new role.
While we were there she spoke to Little J by referring to herself by her name. She would say "come see T." It was sad in the fact that I cannot imagine being her but it was good because of her acceptance. It made everything less stressful and it truly let me know that she is comfortable with us and confident in the decision she has made to sign over her rights. She is a good person and does want what is best.
Friday, September 25, 2009
I do want to ask any of my readers if they know anything about the Alabama State Law which has to do with the Putative Father Registry. To my knowledge in Alabama if someone thinks they could possibly be the father of an infant they must register their name with this registry within 30 days of the childs birth in order to seek custody. If this is not done then it is giving consent for adoption and if a child is placed for adoption then they have no more rights.
If this be the case then I do not understand why DHR does not enforce this Law. What I would like to know is, is there a clause that has to do with DHR and custody that prevents this from being used? There are so many children in foster care that are ready to be adopted but they are waiting on DNA testing. This law could change alot of childrens lives if it can be used in a DHR situation. Please let me know if you have any information about this. Oh, and by the way there are other states that have the same law so you do not have to be just in Alabama to answer my question.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Everyone is doing great here.
Hubby celebrated his 40th birthday August 31 and I pulled off a big surprise party for him. It was soooo much fun. Hubby is also getting ready for hunting season.
Seth is busy with church activities and also getting geared up for basketball season which is just around the corner.
Patton stays very busy with football practice, baseball hitting lessons, and texting his girlfriend.
Landon is our little head hunter on his football team. He has at least 10 tackles a game and causes 2-3 fumbles per game. Way to go Landon.
Little J is just busy getting into everything and climbing on whatever he can get a knee on. We also have had a major accomplishment, he is sleeping through the night in his OWN bed. If he does wake he just cries himself back to sleep. Yes, finally.
As for me you can tell I am just busy being mom and the taxi service.
Little J's paternity testing is scheduled for September 25th. This is for the second possible father. If this is not the one we have one more to test. We have not heard from Little J's BM in almost 4 weeks. I hope she is okay. I still worry about her a lot.
I guess that is about all I have to report for now. I will update you with more information as it becomes available.
Monday, September 7, 2009
I just do not really know where to begin to tell you how much my friend means to me. I have only know her for a little over a year but I feel like we have been friends a lifetime. We met in our GPS class (oh and by the way I do believe this was all in God's plan). I will never forget talking to her for the first time and just being in awe of her. She already had 5 children of her own and here she was with a burden for adoption ready to add another child. To be honest I really thought she was crazy haha. Just kidding. Anyway we just hit it off from the beginning. Since our GPS class has ended our friendship has grown. We talk EVERYDAY usually a lot more than once. I really do not know what I would do without her. I cannot imagine being on this journey without her.
God has used our friendship in so many ways I cannot even begin to explain all that has happened but the one thing I will always be indebted to her for is that she let me know about Little J. She was called to foster Little J first but after prayer and consideration she really felt like that for her family taking on a child with a severe heart condition was not what was best. She called me and told me she had turned the placement down and I immediately called to inquire about him. I do believe this was all in God's plan. She now has 3 foster children of her own and we both are real close to adoption.
As we come to maybe the end of this chapter of our life we are a little sad. We do have a heart for foster children but we cannot save all of them. It is our prayer that through our love for the Lord, our friendship, our families and our foster care experience we can recruit and be an advocate for these children. We are in prayer that God will use us to reach people for these children. We do not know if it is together or on different journey's but together as friends we do want to make a difference.
Okay I have left you in suspense long enough. Although you may have already figured out who my very best friend in the whole worlds is, It's Kelly from the blog The Missing Piece.
Kelly, thank you for your friendship I could not have done this without you and would have never wanted to do it without you. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us both. Hold on tight girl because I know he has BIG plans for us.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
- Do you setup guidelines before the adoption is final?
- Do you allow visits at your home or in a community setting.
- Do you specify who can visit?
- Does open adoption sometimes mean no actual physical contact just updates through pictures.
- How do you go about explaining the situation to your child?
- How do you live in the same community and not have an open adoption?
We really do not know how to handle all of this. Little J's BM has agreed to waive parental rights but does want to continue a relationship. Our stipulation was she has to be clean and it would always be on our terms but how do we make the right decisions about the terms? Any input you can give would really help.
Friday, August 28, 2009
When we got in the court room our SW testified and made the recommendation of TPR and then BM attorney shared with the judge about BM's decision. The judge then reinforced the fact that paternity needed to be established and then TPR would be granted.
I am so happy and relieved. I am so very proud of Little J's BM. She was really brave today and stood by her word. She expressed to me that this was not about her anymore it was about Little J and what was best for him, but what touched me the most today was when she said to me "I know you and Chyne love Little J and he loves yall but I have to think about your boys also. I know they love him very much and Little J loves them and I know it would hurt your boys to much for him to leave.:" This statement meant a lot to me. It let me know that she does love her son but also that she is thinking about my children and how much I love them also.
I so much want to help her. I want to be her support. Not her enabler but her support. Whether it be tough love, a shoulder to cry on. but most of all I hope she sees Jesus through me. I know most of you probably follow Hope who writes in The Monster Wrangler and if you don't please go and read her "sermon". We must love all people and especially these Birth Moms. They are most always a product of what they were raised in and somewhere the cycle must end and the only way it will end is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and we must be the messenger. We MUST show Christ love even though sometimes we don't understand or don't want to understand. These parents need us not only to care for and love their children but to truly care about them. I do care about Little J's BM and want to be that person for her.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I have thought about this alot since last night and I have to say that through all of the drug abuse and all the events leading up to this point she really does love him. I know that she has decided to do this with only a week before termination but I do know that several months ago she talked about signing over her rights. I think this is something she has been thinking about for a long time.
I have a new found respect for Little J's BM. She told me that she knows that right now she could not possibly take care of him and that even if she was well that she could not provide and care for him the way that we can. She said she knows that we truly love him and he loves us and she just wanted what was best for him. She did request that she be allowed to see him and we did agree that this would be an open adoption under the condition that she be drug free and she will only see him when she is drug free.
This is a true picture of true love of a biological Mom. She is finally putting her sons well being and future before herself. She does love him, I have known that all along but she has definitely proven that now.
I care about Little J's BM and I want her to get better. I would love for her to be well and be able to spend time with Little J. I think that one day she will. We will just keep praying for her because God is at work in this situation and he is revealing that to me everyday.
Thank you God for hearing us when we pray and answering our prayers. You are an awesome God!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I received a call today from our SW who wanted to let me know that her supervisor has told her that she MUST do DNA on anyone that Little J's mom has mentioned as a potential father. This makes me so angry because the first person that they are going to have to try and test is deceased and the other is 18 yrs old and has known about Little J since he was born. This guy surely could do the math and figure out that if they were together then that he might be the father. It seems pretty obvious to me that even if he is the father he doesn't care. So why, why do we have to try and force these people to be parents.
I know that DHR says that they are trying to do whats best for the children, but are they really? I just don't understand how they could think that trying to test everyone she names to see if they are the father and then possibly finding him and moving Little J would be best.
I am trying so hard not to worry and be positive but it is hard. I just want them to do these test as quickly as possible so we can move on. I just have to wonder, what next?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
SW called today and said NO conformation NO VISIT tomorrow. SW said if she calls in the morning or shows up that it is too late. She has to take responsibility.
This is so sad to me that she does not care enough to even call or want to visit. It is ok with me to not have to take him but it is still sad. I really believe she has accepted the fact that it is over and he is NEVER coming back to her.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Mom: Landon momma is so sad that you are going to school today.
Landon: Well momma, you know you could just home school me.
Mom: Please don't tempt me because I just might think about it.
Here are a few pictures: Landon before leaving for school, Landon and Ms Joy, Little J.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Ok, so after all this BM then proceeds to tell us that she may have an aunt that will take Little J. I am not too awful worried about this though because whoever this aunt is did not take her sisters kids. But, she then named someone else that could possibly be the dad. So you know what that means, another paternity test. This is ridiculous. So many different men she has no clue who his dad is but if this guy is his dad then here we go again with visits, and whatever else he needs.
Does this ever end? Moving forward almost seems as though we took 2 steps backwards. This is so crazy and frustrating. Little J and our family need closure with this. We are ready to be a normal family again.
The GAL (attorney for Little J) said that she will ask the judge to try and push this case on forward so hopefully that will work. Please pray for us. We just want this to be over.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
This is something that I have been waiting to hear for many months but my hubby is still so scared. He is so scared to make commitments sometimes for fear that things may fail. I know with out a doubt that he loves Little J. I wish you could see him with him. He is great with him and Little J adores him.
I understand some of his fears and concerns but that does not change the fact that I feel Little J is ours and is meant to stay here. I think adoption through foster care is a scary thing. Number one we live within 25 miles of his BM which is not bad its just awkward because she now his bad feelings toward us because "he is still MY son." Number two these children all come with problems whether it be health issues or emotional issues. We got Little J at a great age (6 months), so the emotional issues are not there but of course there is the health issue that will never change. Number three, is drug addiction more hereditary or environment. Little J's BM family ALL have drug issues. Will it be the same for him is it just born in someone or can our love, support, morals and values be enough to prevent this from happening. These are just a few of the things I think about but in the end I am willing to risk all my worries and concerns to have a chance to Love and Mother this baby forever.
I have to believe in my heart that God would not have allowed this beautiful baby to live in our hearts and home for a year and then us have to say no to adoption. God is good and I know the details are already worked out they have just not been revealed to us yet. I am trying hard to be patient but I am not a very patient person. Hummm, maybe this is the lesson God is trying to teach me, patience and COMPLETE TRUST in him. God I do trust you.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Happy belated birthday Patton I love you.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
As I look at the case and everything that was laid before Little J's Mom to complete she has done nothing and I do not see how the judge can do anything any different but to terminate her rights but that may or may not happen. I am so happy that we may finally be able to be a family in every since of the word but I am sad for Little J's mom because she just cannot seem to find a way to beat her problems. My heart breaks for her. No matter how mad she makes me she is a human being that deserves love and support and she has no one to give her that. I just hope through this process she has seen that I have tried to be an example of Christ's love and that one day she will come to understand that Christ is truly the only one she needs and the only one who can help pull her out of this pit she is in.
Please just keep our family and Little J's Mom in your prayers. This will be a long month of waiting and hoping. We love Little J so much and cannot wait to call him ours for real. He is a special little boy sent to us from God and for that we are very thankful.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I am so proud of Seth for participating with this group. Seth has Cerebral Palsy and it would have been so easy for him just to say I can't and not try but he doesn't do that. His leader said he has fallen alot this week because the ground is so unlevel but he just gets right back up and keeps going. He received an award this week for being the most overcoming. Way to go Seth. God will bless you for the work you have done this week.
I love you very much Seth and I am so proud of you.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
NO SUITABLE HOUSING
STILL ACTIVELY USING DRUGS
NO COMMUNITY SERVICE FOR HER PROBATION
LOOKING AT POSSIBLE JAIL TIME
BUT, WE NOW ARE BRINGING A DIAPER BAG TO THE VISIT.
I am not joking guys, the caseworker supervisor told me that she heard that Little J's mom is beginning to make progress. Are you kidding me? I almost had to laugh at her but it made me too mad to laugh.
Monday, June 29, 2009
I just get really frustrated with all of this crap. You cannot make BM love her children. No matter how hard you try it will not happen. Let me give you an example of how ridiculous this thing is. The BM never calls me to check on Little J. The only contact she has with him is once per week for a visit. BM has been lying to caseworker and telling her she calls and I never answer so caseworker decides that we need set days and times that BM must call. Caseworker set this up for Mondays and Saturdays from 2-5. This past Saturday was the first day this was to start. Well, you guessed it no phone call even after BM sat and told caseworker she would call. Don't get me wrong. I do not care if I ever talk to her but I don't like someone lying about me. I just do not understand how once per week is enough for BM but if this is all she wants please quit trying to force her to do more. If she doesn't care I don't either. We love Little J more than she can ever imagine and I just pray we get to give him that love forever.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Patton begins his all star tournament tonight so for the next 2 weeks we will be very busy. Seth is just traveling from one set of grandparents to the next this summer. He really enjoys spending time with them and they enjoy it also. Landon and Jacob are just trying to keep up. They are having lots of fun swimming and just normal summer things.
Oh and one more thing, Whitney please hurry home Patton misses you so much.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I post this entry not to say that it is a done deal and Little J will be ours, although I hope and pray he will be, but I want everyone who reads this blog to know that God is in control of every situation and every thing is in his perfect timing. We just have to trust that and I must admit that is very hard for me sometimes because I want answers and I want them immediately.
To all of you who have been praying for us, thank you and please, please keep those prayers going up. We still need all of your prayers as we face the next few months that lies ahead of us. There are still many things that can happen and nothing is certain about Little J's future until the judge grants the TPR request.
Friday, June 12, 2009
I know this probably seems like I am being hard to get along with but I am tired of Little J and my family being jerked around. They have placed this child in my care and it is my job to protect him as long as he lives with me. I would NEVER allow someone to do my own children that way and I can promise you this they will NEVER do Little J that way again. It was almost as if I was the BM who had done something wrong and that makes me very angry. When does the children in foster care ever have any rights? When are their feelings ever considered? The answer is NEVER. The only thing that DHR is concerned with is the BP and how much they can help them. BM has been working with DHR since the day Little J was born. Come on guys after 16 mos isn't it obvious she is NOT going to change. It is time to stop believing all her lies and start thinking about Little J but that will not happen anytime soon.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Anyway back to the wonderful vacation. My children had a great time and Little J liked the beach a little more each day. The beach is the life to have. Lay on the beach all day and go out to eat and night.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
We were called to foster this precious baby boy that has been a member of our family in every way for 10 wonderful months. This baby has truly changed our lives forever. We have learned that sometimes our plans are not always Gods plans. We have learned that we can love someone else's child as though they were our own. We have learned that we can love no matter what the race may be or what disability they may have. We have learned how truly wonderful our family support has been. Oh, the things that God has taught us through this process is amazing.
But, now we are being faced with making a decision that may possibly never happen. We are faced with needing to decide if we can adopt Little J should he become available for adoption and our family is torn. We do love Little J with all our hearts but we must decide if we can adopt him. Part of my family still has their hearts set on a little girl and we know that adopting one child is all we can do. I know some of you maybe be thinking that we are looking at this as a pick and choose kind of situation and that is not it. We want what is best for everyone involved. However, from the beginning of this whole process our family made the decision to do this together and we also agreed that we would all be in agreement on our decisions because at this point our family has to be considered first.
There has been no decision made yet and we still have sometime to pray about this and wait for God's plan to be revealed to us. I have begun to sense his will beginning to be revealed to us and if what is unfolding before me is truly God's plan I do know that all the details will be worked out and I cannot wait to share this with you. I just do not want to go into any details at this point until we are absolutely sure. Keep on praying for us please.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Thank you so much for the party and gifts. I really did enjoy being with all of you.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
How can that sweet little cry be something we will long for when he is gone?
How can we forget what he will be possibly going home to?
How can DHR ask us to bring these children into our homes, love them like our own, oh and by all means though don't get attached?
How can we love someone so much and then say goodbye?
How can I continue to bring children into my home, ask my children to love them and then say ok kids its time to say goodbye?
How can I look into those sweet little eyes everyday and not wonder how many more days we have or could this be the last?
How can I not hold him just a little longer each night because I don't know how much longer we have?
How can I not dream of us being his Mom and Dad forever?
How can my children not have those same feelings of being his brother forever?
How can having your children taken away not be enough motivation to do something about it?
How can a possible prison sentence be the best motivation?
How can a little community service of keeping a section of the highway clean and rehab be punishment enough for a charge of chemical endangerment to a child, having your baby born addicted and a heart condition that cannot be reversed that he has to live with the rest of his life?
How can THEY DO US THIS WAY?
I guess you can tell I am very upset as is my whole family. The ISP meeting today was awful. We are now looking for a rehab to take Mom and Little J and his sister. Do you want to know the real kicker? The real motivation behind going to rehab now. It is not because of the children and whats best for them, it is to stay out of prison. You heard me right a little community service and rehab (slap on the wrist) and Little J has a heart condition which may require a transplant that he has to deal with the rest of his life.
My children are devastated and do not understand and I don't know how to explain what I do not understand. This attempt at rehab may fail to. As always I will say we will love him for as long as we have and trust that Gods will be made cleared to us and that as he promises, he will be right there with us every step of the way.
Friday, May 8, 2009
She called me last night and left a message that she really needed to talk to me. Well, me in my not right mind (haha) thought that this is it, she is finally ready to sign over her rights. Boy was I wrong. She again is back to "I want my kids back and I want help". I do not believe her and I told her that.
She continued with the conversation and began talking about what was best for Little J and this is what really upsets me. She said "What are we going to tell Little J when I get him back because he loves you so much"? My response was I don't know you tell me. She said "we will just say you are going home because I'M YOUR MOTHER". Ok I have a real problem with this answer because blood is not all that makes you a mother.
Can someone please explain to me why our courts, social workers, lawyers and anyone else involved thinks that "because i'm your Mother" is a good reason to destroy a childs life. Little J does not know her as his mother. He will not understand why he is having to leave the only Dad, Mom, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles he has ever known and why should he be expected to understand. These parents think that just because they have decided after 6 months, 9 months or even longer they are ready to get help their children are supposed to understand. So we help parents get well and damage children. Does not make alot of sense to me but this is what will happen and I have NO CONTROL of the outcome.
All I can do now I guess is change nothing. I will continue loving Little J as my own and I will keep reminding myself that this is all in Gods hands (oh and Kelly I will need your help with this so just keep reminding me often that all Little J needs right now is our unconditional love and whatever happens is Gods Plan).
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Anyway just please continue to pray for our family and that we just always remember whatever happens is God's perfect plan.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Many of my family members read this blog so to you THANK YOU and WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
LOOK WHAT A GREAT DAD HE WILL BE!
ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, WIPE OUT!!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
HERE'S THE BALL
IF I MUST
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Our caseworker informed us today that the paternity testing for Little J will be April 6th. Please keep that date in your prayers we really need to establish paternity so that we can move on with this case.
Patton and Landon are in full swing with baseball. Landon has moved to pitching machine and is trying to see if he can out do Patton with his hitting. This should be a interesting season.
Seth has his 16th birthday coming up Monday I cannot believe my baby will be sixteen. My Dad gave him his old truck and Seth and his dad have been working on it to get it up and running. Seth is more excited about this truck than a brand new one. Thanks Dad you saved us a lot of money.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
We went to the meeting on Wednesday and nothing was like what I was told. Everything had changed and we are now back to trying to get Mom into another rehab. I could not believe what I was hearing. I was prepared for the TPR and now it seems we are back to where we started. Crazy, yeah that's what I thought also.
The only thing that I did take from the meeting was that the caseworker told Little J's mom we just wanted what was best for Little J and mom said "me too and I am trying to decide if that is me or Paula". It sounds to me like she is considering possibly signing over her rights to us.
As frustrating as this was I do believe that everything happens for a reason and only in Gods perfect timing. Maybe just maybe God allowed things to change to give me and my hubby a little more time because I do feel in time he will put aside his fears and we will adopt Little J.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
They bring a message along with their performance. At the end of the performance they offer a time to become saved and they help lead people in a prayer to receive Jesus Christ. I am a sign language interpreter and so I was involved with signing last night. After the prayer was given Mike told everyone that he was going to count to three and then he wanted everyone who asked Jesus into their heart to please come forward. In just a moment a felt a tap on my shoulder and it was my 5 year old son Landon and he said momma I need to go up there because I prayed and asked God in my heart. It was an awesome experience and now all of my older children are saved.
I am not real sure if at 5 soon to be 6 if children really understand all about salvation but Landon has always been raised in church and he is very mature for his age. Our pastor me, Chyne and Landon are going to sit down and discuss this decision a little more but we are going to support him and encourage him and if he is too young or this was not a real experience for him I know God will deal with him again at another time, but for now I just praise God for his decision.
If anyone reading this blog has any advise please let me know because I think this is the correct way to handle this. What do you think?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What is a name prayer? A name prayer is a prayer written especially for you or your child. You will provide Leslie with any information you want her to have and she prayerfully writes your child's prayer. You can give her any special concerns you have about your child, what they like, what you want for them etc. I am going to share with you my children's prayers.
***When I gave Leslie Seth's information he was facing health challenges and some problems with respecting others and I also told her about his love for other people.
S overeign Lord, I know that you have made plans to prosper me, plans to give me hope and a
E stablish a sanctuary of compassion and mercy in my heart, so that I can minister to others.
T each me to honor my father and mother, live in harmony with my brothers, and willingly
serve you all the days of my life.
H elp me to clearly recognize my sin, so that I can humble myself and seek true repentance.
***Patton loves baseball, and is a very compassionate person.
P recious Lord, thank you for coaching me through all the games I have to play in life
A ppoint your angels charge over me to bless and keep me safe in all circumstances.
T ag my life with your capable hand, and let me always listen to the coaching of your spirit.
T each me to recognize my sin, repent and find restoration in Christ.
O ccupy all bases inside my heart, and create a dugout of your love within me.
N ever let me be silent in my faith, instead let me boldly share the gospel of Jesus Christ with
everyone I meet.
***Landon just blesses us with his joy and smiles he was small at the time this was written.
L ord of creation thank you for giving me the gift of joy and laughter.
A pply the blood of Jesus to my sins, and scatter them far from me
N ourish my spirit by planting me next to springs of living water.
D o immeasurably more in my life than I can ask or imagine.
O verflow my cup with godly love and mercy as I draw near to you.
N o matter where I go, go there before me paving paths of righteousness.
These are a little hard to read on the blog but you can see their name down the side and each letter of their name starts a new sentence.
I hope you like these because they mean alot to me. Leslie's link is listed on my blog.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
This comment makes me so angry because these parents do not stop to think or even care about what the impact of this has on their kids. They only worry about themselves and nothing else. They never stop to think about the emotions and attachments that their children develop for their foster parents not to mention the emotions that we the foster family may feel. In Little J's case we are the only family he has ever really know.
I am really struggling right now about my feelings toward Little J's mom and the system as a whole. Please keep Little J and our entire family in your prayers
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
We received a call from DHR in July about 3 children that needed a home. The oldest was a little girl that was 3, a little girl 2 and a little boy 15 mos ( sibling group). The foster care worker asked if we were willing to take these children and my heart said yes but my head should have done a little more thinking but when you receive those calls you feel like you have to make a decision right then and I personally have a hard time saying no when it comes to children. So of course I said yes. They were very precious children but had never had very much discipline and were very much a handful. We kept them for about a month and then Little J came into care and he has a heart condition and needed a stay at home mom to care for him. So the 3 children we had were moved and Little J came to live with us.
From the time we saw Little J we loved him. It was a little difficult in the beginning for some of the family because he is biracial and that was just something some of the family had to get used to. I met Little J's biological mom the next week and I decided that I could help her and wanted to help her. She was young and grew up in a very similar situation that she was about to try and raise her son in. I thought that all she needed was support, a role model, prayer and that I could give her all that. Well I tried really hard to help her. I drove her to rehab, took her to pay fines for probation, picked her up for visits, bought her a dress for court, gave her encouragement as much as possible, and even brought her into my home to spend the day with us I I tell you all this not for praise but to let you know that I truly tried to help her.
Everything that she told me I believed to a certain extent but my husband kept telling me Paula she is an addict and don't fall for everything she says. She went to detox for a week and then went to her first rehab attended two meetings and dropped out stating she could not get a ride but transportation was provided as long as she called them. She then started another rehab and again quit because of transportation reasons. Then there was the last rehab she started on Monday 01-25-09and left on Tuesday 01-26-09 and to today's date she is not enrolled in any treatment.
I do believe I guess that she loves her child as much as maybe she knows how but I have a really hard time understanding how you can have such a precious baby boy and not fight with all you have to get better and get him home.
I have now backed off and I only allow her to call once per week and we visit only when she calls DHR and schedules a visit. I do this not to be mean and Little J has to be my focus and priority at this point. I cannot do it for her. If she does decided to make a lifelong commitment to getting clean and staying clean then I will be the first to help her.
You may ask me will you ever do foster care again if Little J should have to leave and I would have to say I am not sure. Do you regret your decision to foster and I would say absolutely not because as I stated in my previous blog if we had said no we would have missed out on this wonderful, precious gift that God has graciously blessed our family with and that in itself makes this whole journey worth it.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
We are a very busy family and very involved with our church, schools, and extra curricular activities. Chyne is a contractor, I am an aide on a handicap bus, Seth is in the 8th grade and manger of his schools basketball and baseball teams, Patton is in the 7th grade and plays baseball, football, and is in the process of trying out for the golf team, Landon is 5 and plays t-ball and Little J is just along for the ride.
To catch you up on where we are, we started our journey through foster care to adopt a daughter but my how God has changed our hearts and by the way God really does have a sense of humor. Let me explain that last comment. As I stated earlier we began this journey to adopt a waiting daughter from foster care. We only wanted a girl and we were NOT doing foster care. Well here we are one year later right in the middle of foster care and yes you guessed it we are wonderfully blessed with a 1 year old baby boy who I will call Little J.
Once we realized that God had different plans for us than what we had we discussed this with our sons and made a decision as a family to foster. Little J came to us in August and has truly changed our lives forever. I do not regret for one minute the decision to foster because our family would have missed out on loving Little J.
I do not know what the future holds for our family and Little J all I do know is that I would not trade this journey for anything because we have been truly blessed.