Welcome to our journey through foster parenting and adopting. I am so glad you have visited my blog.

My prayer is that through my experiences on this journey, I can be of help to someone else. I want Jesus Christ to be glorified through this blog because it is only through him that I am able to make this journey.

Here we go, let's start this journey together.

With All My Heart
Paula

Monday, June 29, 2009

YOU CANNOT MAKE HER LOVE HIM

We have been dealing with several things with Little J and his BM lately. She is in a position now where she knows that it is getting close to her losing her children forever and she is now really making up many more lies and excuses. She still is not in treatment (but according to her this is the caseworkers fault) still no job, still no adequate housing, and still ACTIVELY using drugs.

I just get really frustrated with all of this crap. You cannot make BM love her children. No matter how hard you try it will not happen. Let me give you an example of how ridiculous this thing is. The BM never calls me to check on Little J. The only contact she has with him is once per week for a visit. BM has been lying to caseworker and telling her she calls and I never answer so caseworker decides that we need set days and times that BM must call. Caseworker set this up for Mondays and Saturdays from 2-5. This past Saturday was the first day this was to start. Well, you guessed it no phone call even after BM sat and told caseworker she would call. Don't get me wrong. I do not care if I ever talk to her but I don't like someone lying about me. I just do not understand how once per week is enough for BM but if this is all she wants please quit trying to force her to do more. If she doesn't care I don't either. We love Little J more than she can ever imagine and I just pray we get to give him that love forever.

Friday, June 26, 2009

STILL HERE

I am sure many of you think I have just forgotten to blog lately but the truth is we are so busy and things are going so well right now we have just been a little quite.

Patton begins his all star tournament tonight so for the next 2 weeks we will be very busy. Seth is just traveling from one set of grandparents to the next this summer. He really enjoys spending time with them and they enjoy it also. Landon and Jacob are just trying to keep up. They are having lots of fun swimming and just normal summer things.

Oh and one more thing, Whitney please hurry home Patton misses you so much.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

GOD AT WORK

Right before my very eyes I can now begin to really see God at work in our adoption journey. I know he has been with us all along but I believe he is beginning to reveal his plan. As I posted in an earlier post, DHR has asked us to begin to try and decided if we will be able to adopt Little J. As I have also posted before my hubby still has had a lot of doubts, but today he got really frustrated with DHR and said to me "you can get mad at me if you want but I am going to call DHR and tell them they need to put Little J back with his mom or leave him with us forever but something needs to be done". I almost ran into the police car beside me ( not really but I was shocked). I could not believe those words just came out of his mouth. I don't think he could either haha.

I post this entry not to say that it is a done deal and Little J will be ours, although I hope and pray he will be, but I want everyone who reads this blog to know that God is in control of every situation and every thing is in his perfect timing. We just have to trust that and I must admit that is very hard for me sometimes because I want answers and I want them immediately.

To all of you who have been praying for us, thank you and please, please keep those prayers going up. We still need all of your prayers as we face the next few months that lies ahead of us. There are still many things that can happen and nothing is certain about Little J's future until the judge grants the TPR request.

Friday, June 12, 2009

WHAT IS GOING ON

Little J had a 3 hour visit yesterday (only because the case aide asked the BM if she would like that since she missed last week due to us being on vacation) she could have cared less about a longer visit. I had almost been phyisically sick all morning about this visit because Little J cries when I leave him with her. I get to the visit, start through the door and the case aide snatches Little J out of my arms, shoves him into BM moms arms and rudely states " I will take him here" and tries to close the door on me. Needless to say I was very upset because Little J was just waking up and had no idea where he was and they asked me no questions about him. I very sturnly asked the case aide what is going on. She advised me that she was told to take him from me as soon as I got there. I spoke to my SW about this and she did tell case aide to try to take him in the lobby hoping maybe this would help with the crying. Now, why would he not cry with the case aide?

I know this probably seems like I am being hard to get along with but I am tired of Little J and my family being jerked around. They have placed this child in my care and it is my job to protect him as long as he lives with me. I would NEVER allow someone to do my own children that way and I can promise you this they will NEVER do Little J that way again. It was almost as if I was the BM who had done something wrong and that makes me very angry. When does the children in foster care ever have any rights? When are their feelings ever considered? The answer is NEVER. The only thing that DHR is concerned with is the BP and how much they can help them. BM has been working with DHR since the day Little J was born. Come on guys after 16 mos isn't it obvious she is NOT going to change. It is time to stop believing all her lies and start thinking about Little J but that will not happen anytime soon.

Monday, June 8, 2009

WE ARE BACK

Well, we are back from our vacation, back to reality. We had a wonderful week on vacation. I loved it. We actually felt like a "normal" family. No visit, no phone calls from BM (although we very rarely have those calls), no DHR, no job, just our family and it felt great. But, we are back and now we have to start all over with visits and everything else that DHR expects of us.

Anyway back to the wonderful vacation. My children had a great time and Little J liked the beach a little more each day. The beach is the life to have. Lay on the beach all day and go out to eat and night.