Welcome to our journey through foster parenting and adopting. I am so glad you have visited my blog.

My prayer is that through my experiences on this journey, I can be of help to someone else. I want Jesus Christ to be glorified through this blog because it is only through him that I am able to make this journey.

Here we go, let's start this journey together.

With All My Heart
Paula

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

COMMITMENTS

Last Friday my SW came for our monthly home visit and we had a really good visit. We were able to talk about what the future is looking like for Little J. The SW told me that on August 5th we will be having an ISP meeting and she will be changing the permanency goal for Little J from reunification with parent to adoption with current foster placement. Wow, that is us!!

This is something that I have been waiting to hear for many months but my hubby is still so scared. He is so scared to make commitments sometimes for fear that things may fail. I know with out a doubt that he loves Little J. I wish you could see him with him. He is great with him and Little J adores him.

I understand some of his fears and concerns but that does not change the fact that I feel Little J is ours and is meant to stay here. I think adoption through foster care is a scary thing. Number one we live within 25 miles of his BM which is not bad its just awkward because she now his bad feelings toward us because "he is still MY son." Number two these children all come with problems whether it be health issues or emotional issues. We got Little J at a great age (6 months), so the emotional issues are not there but of course there is the health issue that will never change. Number three, is drug addiction more hereditary or environment. Little J's BM family ALL have drug issues. Will it be the same for him is it just born in someone or can our love, support, morals and values be enough to prevent this from happening. These are just a few of the things I think about but in the end I am willing to risk all my worries and concerns to have a chance to Love and Mother this baby forever.

I have to believe in my heart that God would not have allowed this beautiful baby to live in our hearts and home for a year and then us have to say no to adoption. God is good and I know the details are already worked out they have just not been revealed to us yet. I am trying hard to be patient but I am not a very patient person. Hummm, maybe this is the lesson God is trying to teach me, patience and COMPLETE TRUST in him. God I do trust you.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

NO SHOW

BM was a no show for the visit today. She has completely quit making phone calls, will not come to door for SW visit and did not come for a visit with Little J today. I wonder if she has accepted the fact that it is pretty much over for her as far as getting her children back. She knows that the permanency hearing is next month and SW told her last week it did not look good for her.

Monday, July 20, 2009

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY PATTON

July 16th was Patton's 13th birthday. Oh my goodness I now have 2 teenagers in the house. Anyway Patton was at the beach with a friend and his Dad, myself, Seth, Landon and Little J showed up there and surprised him. He left last Sunday and had no idea we were coming. It was so much fun. I love surprises.

Happy belated birthday Patton I love you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ONE MORE MONTH

As I write this post I am filled with so many emotions. I am scared, nervous, excited, happy, sad, filled with joy, thankful, the list can go on and on. We are just one month away from our permanency hearing and it seems like an eternity from now.

As I look at the case and everything that was laid before Little J's Mom to complete she has done nothing and I do not see how the judge can do anything any different but to terminate her rights but that may or may not happen. I am so happy that we may finally be able to be a family in every since of the word but I am sad for Little J's mom because she just cannot seem to find a way to beat her problems. My heart breaks for her. No matter how mad she makes me she is a human being that deserves love and support and she has no one to give her that. I just hope through this process she has seen that I have tried to be an example of Christ's love and that one day she will come to understand that Christ is truly the only one she needs and the only one who can help pull her out of this pit she is in.

Please just keep our family and Little J's Mom in your prayers. This will be a long month of waiting and hoping. We love Little J so much and cannot wait to call him ours for real. He is a special little boy sent to us from God and for that we are very thankful.

Friday, July 10, 2009

WORLD CHANGERS

My oldest son Seth has been gone this week with his church youth group to World Changers. This is a mission project which has around 400 people participating in the area he is in. They have projects they work on for the less fortunate. Seth's group has been painting a porch and foundation this week. They have also had the opportunity to walk through the neighborhoods to share the gospel with those they come in contact with.

I am so proud of Seth for participating with this group. Seth has Cerebral Palsy and it would have been so easy for him just to say I can't and not try but he doesn't do that. His leader said he has fallen alot this week because the ground is so unlevel but he just gets right back up and keeps going. He received an award this week for being the most overcoming. Way to go Seth. God will bless you for the work you have done this week.

I love you very much Seth and I am so proud of you.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

WHAT IS PROGRESS

What is progress, now let me see!!

NO JOB

NO SUITABLE HOUSING

STILL ACTIVELY USING DRUGS

NO REHAB

NO COMMUNITY SERVICE FOR HER PROBATION

LOOKING AT POSSIBLE JAIL TIME

BUT, WE NOW ARE BRINGING A DIAPER BAG TO THE VISIT.

I am not joking guys, the caseworker supervisor told me that she heard that Little J's mom is beginning to make progress. Are you kidding me? I almost had to laugh at her but it made me too mad to laugh.