Welcome to our journey through foster parenting and adopting. I am so glad you have visited my blog.

My prayer is that through my experiences on this journey, I can be of help to someone else. I want Jesus Christ to be glorified through this blog because it is only through him that I am able to make this journey.

Here we go, let's start this journey together.

With All My Heart
Paula

Friday, August 28, 2009

COURT UPDATE

I just wanted to give everyone a court update. All in all I think things really went well today. As soon as I got the the courthouse Little J's BM met me and told me that she had talked with her attorney and let her know of her intent to waive her parental rights. She told me she wanted the judge to know this also.

When we got in the court room our SW testified and made the recommendation of TPR and then BM attorney shared with the judge about BM's decision. The judge then reinforced the fact that paternity needed to be established and then TPR would be granted.

I am so happy and relieved. I am so very proud of Little J's BM. She was really brave today and stood by her word. She expressed to me that this was not about her anymore it was about Little J and what was best for him, but what touched me the most today was when she said to me "I know you and Chyne love Little J and he loves yall but I have to think about your boys also. I know they love him very much and Little J loves them and I know it would hurt your boys to much for him to leave.:" This statement meant a lot to me. It let me know that she does love her son but also that she is thinking about my children and how much I love them also.

I so much want to help her. I want to be her support. Not her enabler but her support. Whether it be tough love, a shoulder to cry on. but most of all I hope she sees Jesus through me. I know most of you probably follow Hope who writes in The Monster Wrangler and if you don't please go and read her "sermon". We must love all people and especially these Birth Moms. They are most always a product of what they were raised in and somewhere the cycle must end and the only way it will end is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and we must be the messenger. We MUST show Christ love even though sometimes we don't understand or don't want to understand. These parents need us not only to care for and love their children but to truly care about them. I do care about Little J's BM and want to be that person for her.

COURT TODAY

Court is at 9:45 this morning. Please keep us in your prayers, especially the judge. I will update as soon as I know something.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

THE TRUE LOVE OF A BIOLOGICAL MOTHER

I received a call last night from Little J's BM and the person that was on the other end of that phone was a different person than what I am used to talking to. This person was the person who truly wants whats best for her son. Little J's BM called to tell me that she is ready to sign over her rights to us. I was shocked and really didn't know what to say to her other than thank you and to tell her that Little J will always know that she loved him.

I have thought about this alot since last night and I have to say that through all of the drug abuse and all the events leading up to this point she really does love him. I know that she has decided to do this with only a week before termination but I do know that several months ago she talked about signing over her rights. I think this is something she has been thinking about for a long time.

I have a new found respect for Little J's BM. She told me that she knows that right now she could not possibly take care of him and that even if she was well that she could not provide and care for him the way that we can. She said she knows that we truly love him and he loves us and she just wanted what was best for him. She did request that she be allowed to see him and we did agree that this would be an open adoption under the condition that she be drug free and she will only see him when she is drug free.

This is a true picture of true love of a biological Mom. She is finally putting her sons well being and future before herself. She does love him, I have known that all along but she has definitely proven that now.

I care about Little J's BM and I want her to get better. I would love for her to be well and be able to spend time with Little J. I think that one day she will. We will just keep praying for her because God is at work in this situation and he is revealing that to me everyday.

Thank you God for hearing us when we pray and answering our prayers. You are an awesome God!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

WHAT NEXT

I need to vent so here it goes. I would like to say in advance that I am sorry that sometimes I seem so negative about foster care.

I received a call today from our SW who wanted to let me know that her supervisor has told her that she MUST do DNA on anyone that Little J's mom has mentioned as a potential father. This makes me so angry because the first person that they are going to have to try and test is deceased and the other is 18 yrs old and has known about Little J since he was born. This guy surely could do the math and figure out that if they were together then that he might be the father. It seems pretty obvious to me that even if he is the father he doesn't care. So why, why do we have to try and force these people to be parents.

I know that DHR says that they are trying to do whats best for the children, but are they really? I just don't understand how they could think that trying to test everyone she names to see if they are the father and then possibly finding him and moving Little J would be best.

I am trying so hard not to worry and be positive but it is hard. I just want them to do these test as quickly as possible so we can move on. I just have to wonder, what next?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

NO VISIT TOMORROW

In our last ISP the SW made it clear to Little J's BM and everyone in the room that she was to make phone calls twice a week and call on Tuesdays to confirm our visit for Wednesday since she has begun to not show. It was very clear to her that she must call or there would be NO visit.

SW called today and said NO conformation NO VISIT tomorrow. SW said if she calls in the morning or shows up that it is too late. She has to take responsibility.

This is so sad to me that she does not care enough to even call or want to visit. It is ok with me to not have to take him but it is still sad. I really believe she has accepted the fact that it is over and he is NEVER coming back to her.

Friday, August 7, 2009

OFF TO KINDERGARTEN

Today was Landon's first day of kindergarten. I cannot believe it has come the time for me to have to leave him at school. He was so excited about school. He did much better than I did with saying good bye. As a matter of fact I had to ask him to please come give me a hug and kiss bye because we was already at his table ready to go. I wanted to share our conversation from this morning with you. It was funny and sweet.

Mom: Landon momma is so sad that you are going to school today.
Landon: Well momma, you know you could just home school me.
Mom: Please don't tempt me because I just might think about it.

Here are a few pictures: Landon before leaving for school, Landon and Ms Joy, Little J.






















Wednesday, August 5, 2009

MOVING FORWARD! MAYBE

Ok, as you all know our ISP meeting was today. Our SW let Little J's BM know that they are moving forward with TPR or at least in paper work I guess. Let me explain. We go into the meeting and as I have said the SW let her know that they are moving to TPR and changing the plan to adoption with current foster placement (and by the way when asked by the SW if we had talked about adoption and were we committed hubby said YES). Now just as I expected BM is desperate to go to rehab. She asked several times if she was in rehab would this stop the judge from granting TPR. Little J's attorney told her that they want her to get help but that in her opinion it was too late for her to regain custody. BM also tested positive again today.

Ok, so after all this BM then proceeds to tell us that she may have an aunt that will take Little J. I am not too awful worried about this though because whoever this aunt is did not take her sisters kids. But, she then named someone else that could possibly be the dad. So you know what that means, another paternity test. This is ridiculous. So many different men she has no clue who his dad is but if this guy is his dad then here we go again with visits, and whatever else he needs.

Does this ever end? Moving forward almost seems as though we took 2 steps backwards. This is so crazy and frustrating. Little J and our family need closure with this. We are ready to be a normal family again.

The GAL (attorney for Little J) said that she will ask the judge to try and push this case on forward so hopefully that will work. Please pray for us. We just want this to be over.