Welcome to our journey through foster parenting and adopting. I am so glad you have visited my blog.

My prayer is that through my experiences on this journey, I can be of help to someone else. I want Jesus Christ to be glorified through this blog because it is only through him that I am able to make this journey.

Here we go, let's start this journey together.

With All My Heart
Paula

Thursday, November 26, 2009

OH, HOW PRETTY

Mom:  Little J leave the Christmas tree alone
Little J:  Oh, pretty




HOME IMPROVEMENT

This was our project this week.  A much need redecorating.  I wish I had made before pictures, but trust me the color was awful.





Wednesday, November 25, 2009

FULL CIRCLE

I have to share this with everyone because when I heard these two sweet words and then the response I knew for sure that we have come full circle.

As you know from previous post my hubby was not on board with adopting Little J in the beginning.  I am not sure the reasons and may never know for sure but what I do know that with God all things are possible and we have indeed come full circle.  He is  100% committed at this point and so is Little J.

Yesterday we were repainting our bedroom so of course we had Little J locked out with his big brothers.  Once we were finished and we opened the door Little J saw me and said "momma" but then he peeked around the door and said "ohhh my Daddy" and Daddy responded hey buddy come see me.  Oh my goodness, I could have cried.  It was one of the sweetest moments I have ever had with them and it is one I never want to forget.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

MUST SEE

My family and I went to see the movie "The Blindside" last night.  I have to say this movie is a must see.  I have to warn you though, you better have your tissue ready.  Take a look at the trailer link below.

http://www.theblindsidemovie.com/#/Videos

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I AM THANKFUL FOR

My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
My Marvelous Hubby who I love with all my heart and I cannot imagine a life without him
Amazing Children Seth, Patton, Landon and Little J you are all such blessings in my life
My Christian Parents who mean everything to me
My Wonderful Sister and Brother
 My Families Health
My Grandmothers who are both still living
My Grandfathers that have gone on to be with the Lord but were the best grandfathers a girl could ever have
My Father and Mother in law
My Sister in laws and their wonderful families
My Brother in laws and their wonderful families
My best friend in the whole world Kelly and her family
All my other dear friends and family, Amy, Lori, Angela, Melissa, Jana
My Church Family
Little J's Biological Mom T
My home
Our freedom
Our troops who protect us everyday
This amazing journey the Lord has us on right now to love and provide for his children in foster care.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

HOW OPEN SHOULD "OPEN ADOPTION" BE

I ran into Little J's BM this past Saturday at a pizza restaurant and some things became very clear to me. The first thing is this, I am very glad I have the type relationship with her that when I do just happen to dump into her I am not on edge. I was very relaxed and I did not feel as though I needed to do anything except let her see him for a moment. The other thing I noticed was that she seemed as though something was really bothering her. I questioned her about it then but she did not tell me anything.

Little J's BM called me on Saturday night and told me that she had moved out of her Mom's home and was living with a relative. She said she had a lot going on right now and that she was very depressed. I encouraged her to go and get help with her drugs as I always do and I told her I cared about her. She said she was glad and that I was the only one who does. During the conversation she asked to speak with Little J. I put the phone to his ear and she began to talk and then I heard her say "this is your momma". This comment really bothers me because she had begun to let go or so I thought and was referring to herself as T. I know she is his BM and always will be but how do I politely and considerately tell her that she does not need to refer to herself as momma to him? I am his mom now and whether she signs her rights over or they are terminated I am his Mom. I do not want to bring her down anymore than she already is but I do not want to confuse Little J either.

So, I have been thinking about our "open adoption" and how open it should be and how it should be handled and her is what I have decided. I think I have been too open with her. I have always made the effort to take Little J to see her, get her pictures, visit with his sister (oh and by the way she wanted us to come to her birthday party but we are going to politely decline) and pretty much anything she wanted or needed. From now on these things are going to be very limited. I do not want her to expect more than what we can do. I will allow her to visit in a public place with Little J on special occasions (Christmas, birthday etc), I will mail her pictures and will allow her to call every 2 weeks. I do not feel it is safe to be around her right now. I have learned from her Mom that she is being harassed by an ex boyfriend and honestly it is an obsession and I am truly afraid for her life. She has a restraining order against him. Therefore, I am not willing to put my family at risk. Hopefully, one day she will change, be clean from drugs and break free from all the things that she is involved with but until then I have to look out for my family and I will not be responsible for putting them in danger.

I will continue to pray for T and her situation and I would ask that you do the same. She really does need all our prayers.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

DNA/TPR UPDATE

I just wanted to update everyone on where we are right now with the new DNA testing and the TPR. I do not have a lot I can tell you except that we are STILL waiting. One week ago this past Friday my caseworker called to tell me that she had signed the motion for the DNA and that it just had to go before the judge for him to sign. Well, as of today the testing process still has not begun. I also just found out that it may still be another week or so because I am sad to say by caseworkers father passed away this morning.

As far as the TPR is concerned the petition paperwork has been filed for BM. However, this really is not big news because as you already know BM is signing her rights over to us but none of this can be completed until the DNA testing is done.

Okay, back to the DNA testing. I am still struggling with the fact that if this deceased gentleman is Little J's BF, why would his wife have rights to Little J. Little J was conceived out of an affair. Do you really think that if this man was still alive that this woman would want or allow him to come and live with them. Oh and by the way, this man did know about Little J, denied the fact that he could possibly be his (if you know what I mean) and knew that he was in foster care and never came forward to try and get him before his life ended. So does this sound like a family that would want or even should be allowed to have him? I would have to say NO. It just does not make any sense to me. The only thing I can say at this point is that everyday that Little J stays in our home is hopefully a plus for us. I hope that the judge, staff and team all agree that the best place for Little J is in HIS HOME with the ONLY FAMILY he has ever know that LOVES him far more than words can ever say.