Welcome to our journey through foster parenting and adopting. I am so glad you have visited my blog.

My prayer is that through my experiences on this journey, I can be of help to someone else. I want Jesus Christ to be glorified through this blog because it is only through him that I am able to make this journey.

Here we go, let's start this journey together.

With All My Heart
Paula

Monday, August 30, 2010

ALMOST THERE

Today was our first step in the adoption process. 

We went to DHR to do our signing with them.  This gave us consent to adopt Little J.  Once we go those papers signed we took them straight to our attorney's office and he will now draw up all paper work and have us sign and then we will get a court date.  We anticipate our date will be probably the first week of November.

At the signing we did get quite a bit of history.  As we suspected Little J did suffer from withdrawals as a newborn.  My poor baby had drug withdrawls which caused him to be very fussy and irritable.  I wish so bad I could have been there for him during that time of his life.  I wish I could have been the one to swaddle him and hold him and love him through that rough time.

He is doing great now and loved more than I could even begin to tell you.  He is the sunshine in all our lives and we thank God for him every day.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

CONTROL

Lucy Mae has been  doing much better in some areas but the thing we are having the most problems with right now is control.  She wants to be in absolute control of everything that everyone does.  She is not happy if she is not controling a situation.  If we are having a good time and she decides that is not what she want to do she will intentionally ruin the time either by crying, throwing a fit, or starting a fight with someone.

If I say Lucy Mae it is time for school she will be all happy and smiles but the minute we walk in the door she will stand stiff by the door and refuse to walk in, not crying because she does not want to go but just being stubborn and grinning about it. 

Just the other day I said Lucy Mae you and Little J need to go outside and swing.  "No I don't want to its too hot"  okay well then Lucy Mae you need to go to your room to play>  Crying Screaming No i want to go outside its not hot anymore.  Now please remember this was only 10 mins later.  I would not allow her to go out then because it was just control.

On a more postivie note, I think we will be having an ISP meeting this week and Dad will be given unsupervised visits and informed that they are moving to reunification with him with only supervised visits for mom.  I am very happy for her Dad.  He has worked very hard and it is time for her to return to him.  We will all miss her very much but we are not attached to her as much because we definately knew this day would come from the moment we got her.  We just want what is best for Lucy Mae and in this case there will be a happy ending for her Biological Dad.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

SIGNING DAY

We met Tuesday with our SW and adoption worker for our closure ISP and now the case is officially in the adoption workers hands.

We have our signing August 30th and after that we are headed straight to attorney's office to give him the papers so he can draw up the rest of the papers for us to sign and then we get a court date.  It looks as though we will miss the September 30 goal but hopefully we will get a court date the first of October.

I cannot wait for that day to come so that I can finally say Little J is mine forever, and ever.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

MEMORIES

My cousin had recorded this video of my Grandmother playing the piano and singing right before Christmas.  If you listen to Christian music you will be able to pick out that in part of it she is playing Sweet Beluah land and then she plays Amazing Grace and sings it and at the end she sings I will wait at the gate for you.  She loved to play and sing.

Her funeral is today.  I am not ready for this at all. We have been spending our days and nights at her house since she died.  We have just been coming home to sleep.  I know we have to stop but I cannot bring myself to going to her house and then leaving knowing it will be the last time we will all be there together as a family.  She loved her family very much and I am just having a hard time with leaving.  Please be in prayer for me and our family today.

Monday, August 16, 2010

THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

Last night I lost one of the most important people in my life.  My grandmother left this world for a truely better place last night.

I cannot tell you what a blessing she was in my life.  She was an amazingly strong woman with a heart of gold.  She always wanted to give you advice whether you wanted it or not.  Our families lives will never be the same.

I love you Gangie, thanks for helping make me the woman and mother I am today.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

BACK TO SCHOOL

Wow, this has been a busy week.  School started back here and it has been crazy.  As you know I drive a school bus and let me just say every bus needs a/c.  It has been so stinking hot here it is hard to do anything.
The boys are all liking their new teachers and everything seems to be good for them.

Jacob is doing great.  I received an email today from my SW and she said she received the final TPR decree and that she is going to try and get a meeting setup for next week with the adoption worker to begin the paper work.

Lucy Mae, weell that is a different story.  We have been having a lot of trouble with her these past few days.  First of all last Wednesday she was screaming at me and saying that I was mean and when I asked her how I was mean to her she said "because you took me from my Daddy and I don't like you."  I sat down and tried to explain to her the best I could about what happened and that I did not take her from her Daddy.  I told her that after the Judge said she needed to stay somewhere else for a while DHR called me to come get her because they knew that I would love her very much and take good care of her until she could go home.  I reassured her that as soon as I was told she could go home we will pack her clothes and I will take her.  She got better after that talk until yesterday. 

Yesterday was Lucy Mae's first day of preschool.  I got there to pick her up and it was like I was picking up a different child.  The school said she had been good all day but when I got there she started being very defiante.  She ran from me, hid under the tables, screamed no at me, etc.  She was in time out at least 5 times within an hour time frame.  She is very free with telling me that I am mean.  She has a very bad attitude toward everyone in the family.  All the kids are getting really annoyed with her.  I have tried to explain to them that we are trying to teach her things that they have been taught all their lives and she is trying to learn it in a month.  I try to explain this to them but I also have to keep reminding myself also.  I ended up putting her to bed early last night and she did not like that at all.  I have to say she was a little better today.  She tettered on the edge a couple of times but when I reminded her of the early bedtime she got herself back to gather quickly.  I guess I will use that punishment as long as it works.  Poor girl she is just very confused right now and really testing the boundaries.  Hopefully she will figure it out soon.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

COUNTDOWN TO THE BIG DAY

We found out yesterday that our order for TPR for Little J was signed on August 2.  I think it was also entered that day so our appeal time should be up at midnight August 16.  This information came from the attorneys office not DHR so there could be a couple of  more days we have to wait if it did not get entered until the 2nd or 3rd.  At any rate we are on the final countdown.

Our director of DHR is really pushing for our adoption and 6 others (Kelly with the missing piece kids are the other 6) to be done by September 30.  Apparently there is grant money available for DHR if this can be done.  She has already putting things in motion to try and make this happen.  Thank goodness for grant money : 0 )

GIVE ENOUGH ROPE

I know you have heard the old saying "give a person enough rope and they will hang themselves."  Well, that is exactly what Lucy Mae's BM is doing.   Her BM's side of the family definately have some serious mental issues. BM cannot do anything without her parents and her dad controls the entire family.

We had our 30 day ISP on Tuesday and BF did great.  He just sat and listened and let them hang themselves.  He is on offensive team now as our Social Worker calls it.  He is now just focused on what he can do to be a good parent not what BM cannot do.

As it looks right now, unless there is a drastic change, SW is going to get all assessments, visitation notes etc. and make a recommendation to the Judge at the end of the month for BM to have permanent legal custody of Lucy Mae with only supervised visits with BM.  This is very sad for BM but I do feel that the SW is exactly right.  BM cannot even remember to call and confirm a visit by 1:00 on Fridays (if not confirmed within 48 hours of the visit the visitation center refuses visit for the week).

The counselor asked Lucy Mae yesterday if she could go home today where would she want to live and she responded, "My Daddy's house."