Our family is a circle of love and strength. With every union, the circle grows. Every joy shared adds more love. Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger
Welcome to our journey through foster parenting and adopting. I am so glad you have visited my blog.
My prayer is that through my experiences on this journey, I can be of help to someone else. I want Jesus Christ to be glorified through this blog because it is only through him that I am able to make this journey.
TODAY IS THE DAY WE HAVE WAITED FOR, FOR SO LOOOOONNNNNGGG!!!! In just a little over 2 hours Little J will be ours forever. I cannot describe to you how that makes me feel. I will post pictures as soon as it is final.
I cannot believe I can finally say this but it is only 2 days until Little J is forever ours. This is the best feeling ever aside from your biological children's due date. The anticipation and excitement is amazing.
First of all let me begin by saying that this is God's perfect plan being fulfilled. That is the only way I can really explain to you how this all came about.
The first part of God's plan began with placing me in the same class with who would eventually be my very best friend in the whole word and my rock through it all. Kelly from The Missing Piece is the best friend a girl could ever hope for and God knew I would need her more than I can even tell you.
Chyne and I originally began this journey to adopt only. Absolutely no fostering and definitely not another boy. We thought we were doing this to complete our family with a daughter. Anyway, Chyne started talking to me about fostering. He said he thought we should foster before we jumped right into adoption and also we had learned from our classes that it was very difficult to adopt without fostering first. I told him no way. I cannot do that. "There is no way I can foster because I could never give them up and also I could NOT work with birth families." I began to pray about it and God said oh yes you can. I need you to have a heart for these children and guess what I also need you to love their families. I immediately said no way, I might could handle the children part after all I have to problem loving them its the giving them up I don't think I can do but I cannot deal with their families. Well, me and God wrestled with this awhile until I finally said okay I will try and our lives have never been the same.
We first got a call for an eight year old boy and a 3 year old girl that we took and only kept for 3 days because we found out more about the 8 year old and knew we could not keep him. Our next placement is really where I can see God's plan at work. We received a call for a 3 yr old girl, 2yr old girl and a 1 year old boy. At this point I was thinking with my heart and not my head and said yes. Oh my goodness, it was crazy here. Finally after about a month I called our worker and said I am not asking for them to be moved immediately but we cannot keep them much longer please be looking for another home. She agreed but said it may take a while. In the mean time Kelly received a call for a 6 month old baby boy with a severe heart condition. After consideration she and her family declined and this is where God really stepped in or should I say we allowed God in. Kelly called me and told me about the little boy and I said well I could take him if they had another place for the 3 I had. Now remember this is a boy not a girl. Kelly reminded me that this is a boy and we talked a little more and both convinced ourselves that this would probably be temporary and this would work. I called our worker and she said I doubt I can move the other 3 but thanks for calling. Our God knew this is where this little boy was to be so he worked out all the details and 2 hours later I was holding the little boy that would one day be ours forever.
The road has not been easy. We have had many ups and downs, setbacks, worries, you name it we have gone through it. And guess what I had to love his Bio Mom. Yes God showed me that not only do I need you to love Little J I also need you to love his Mom. So with God's help I do love his Mom. I have had to be taught to love his mom through God's eyes because mine would not allow it. There was too much stuff there for me to love her through my eyes but through God's I see a beautiful young girl needing love, support and needing my God.
As I think back on all of this I am so glad that God's plan was not mine. I am so thankful that I gave in to God and have been blessed far more than I can ever imagine.
I guess the whole point in telling you this story again is to just try and impress upon you what a blessing it is to follow God's plan. Just thinking about all the blessings we miss when we try and do things our way. I am sad to say I have probably missed out on a lot of blessings in my life for trying to do everything my way and fighting with God.
God does have my hearts attention when it comes to foster care. I have a tremendous burden for these children and yes their families also. I can not wait to see what God has in store for us next.
Lucy Mae left us yesterday to return to her Father. This is one of those cases that does have a happy ending somewhat. I will try to explain that last statement. This is a happy ending as far as the foster care situation and her being able to return to her father but unfortunately there will never be an end where the Mom is concerned. Mom has many many problems and her main problem is her dependency on her super controlling father. This is a family that definitely has mental issues and it all stems from the father/grand father. This situation will never get any better because this family will not take responsibility for their own actions. They always have to blame someone else. Lucy will always be caught in the middle. We have really stressed to Lucy's dad to try and be positive and not to talk bad about her moms family no matter what they do.
Lucy has been really testing the boundaries with her Father. He called me today for support and reassurance today. She will not listen to him and throws fits when she doesn't get what she wants. I explained to him how he needed to handle the situation and how she will have to see and learn that he is not the old pushover dad he is new and improved. He agreed and said today a new Daddy will be in the house. We shall see how that works. I so hope he can gain her respect and be able to be the Dad he needs to be.
Last week Little J and I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon with his Bio Mom. She had not seen him in about a year. We had a very nice visit. She spent the afternoon playing with him and entertaining him. We really enjoyed our time with her.
I was talking to our foster care social worker today about relationships with Bio Families. She has just started a new class for new foster parents and said that this was part of the topic last night. I have to admit when I went through the classes to become a foster parent I thought to myself these people are crazy if they think I am going to have a relationship with BIO families. I can honestly say now that after forming such a strong bond and relationship with Little J's bio mom and then never being able to accomplish that with Lucy's mom that the good relationships are much easier. I cannot stress enough to new foster parents how important good relationships are. Some Bio parents make it really easy to form these relationships like Little J's bio mom and then others it is almost impossible as in Lucy's case but either way you have to try. I am very thankful for my connection with Little J's bio mom and I hope it can always stay that way. I think one of the biggest differences in my two situations is that Little J's mom does not blame everyone else for her problems. Lucy's mom blames everyone. She feels she does not have problems it is just everyone else.
I am very thankful for my relationship with Little J's Bio mom and I hope our connection can always stay this way.
While talking to our case worker today we also talked about another placement. I told her that we will only take girls two and under from now on. We feel like that for our family it is best that we do not take anymore children older than our youngest. Our worker has been very cautious about placing a baby girl with us because she knows how badly we want to adopt a girl and she did not want to place one here and then them have to leave. I really appreciate the fact that she is trying to protect us but I let her know today that we are willing to put our hearts out there and take a placement no matter the time frame. She cannot ever be sure how long a child will stay and we do not want to wait years for that one that she thinks may get to stay. We are ready to love a baby girl no matter what the future may hold. We took that chance with Little J and look at us now he will be forever ours October 27th. God knows what we need and he will provide the strength we need to get through any situation. We are ready for God to use us in another child's family no matter what.